


Moment of Happiness

by Moondreamer



Series: Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, It started with fluff., The angst was incidental
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:21:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moondreamer/pseuds/Moondreamer
Summary: The Jaws of Hakkon have been defeated. The Spirit of Hakkon is no more. Ameridan's words echoe inside Ellana Lavellan's head : Take moments of happiness where you can. The world will take the rest. Ellana refuses to die with regrets...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place at the end of Jaws of Hakkon and before the start of the quest in the Arbor Wilds. It's the beginning of the end...

Apart from The Iron Bull’s snores--which would have sounded right at home in a bear’s den--the Inquisition camp had finally fallen silent. Ellana slipped away with no one the wiser, needing to be alone for a bit. After pacing for a while, she sat on the bluff overlooking the sea, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked toward the horizon, lost in thoughts.

Well, alright. To say the truth, she was brooding. The events that had led her team to finding Inquisitor Ameridan, alive and frozen in time, made her feel deeply unsettled. The Inquisitor of old was a mage. An elven mage to boot! And then there was his lover Tellana, whose existence had been completely erased from the history books. 

Their death had cost the elves so much.

“The soldier on watch told me I would find you here.”

Ellana blinked away her reverie and looked up to find Solas standing beside her. She had not heard him approaching. As usual he moved on wolf’s paws, prowling quietly.

“You also couldn’t sleep?” she asked him in surprise. She thought everyone had retired for the night by now.

“I was about to retire to my tent when I saw you were not in yours.”

“And so you came to investigate?”

“So I did.” He watched her in that way he sometimes did, like she was a puzzle to be solved. “How are you feeling?” 

She shrugged. “Tired.” Physically so after their latest fight, but even more so mentally.

She finally noticed the steaming tin mug he held. “Tea?” She quirked an eyebrow at him. Solas with a mug of tea wasn’t a common sight.

“For you. You looked cold.”

“Ah, I see. I was wondering if the world was ending. You, willingly drinking tea? Preposterous.” She smiled at him teasingly.

He huffed a laugh and offered her the mug. She took it gladly. It was true that she felt chilled, shivering even while huddling under her woolen blanket. The magical cold shrouding the Jaws of Hakkon’s fortress had seeped into her bones during their foray inside, and she still hadn’t quite managed to warm up.

Solas sat down beside her, and for a time they admired the night sky in companionable silence as she sipped her tea.

“I can’t stop thinking about Inquisitor Ameridan and Telanna...” Ellana said after a long while.

“Oh?”

“They fought and died in this valley, and no one ever knew. Without them to advocate for it, Halamshiral withdrew all support to Orlais at the worse possible time. But, what if they had returned home and managed to convince their people to join King Drakon’s effort against the Blight?”

“They might not have,” Solas pointed out. “Many disagreed with them.”

She sighed. “Maybe. But what if they had? How different would the world be today? Without our disregard for Orlais’ plight during the second Blight, there might not have been an exalted march of the Dales. Halamshiral might still exist today, and we... we...” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head sadly.

Things might have turned up very differently for the elves of southern Thedas.

“Or Halamshiral might have fallen regardless. The end of a civilization rarely hinges on a single event or a single person.”

“Do you really think so?”

Silence was Solas’ only answer. He seemed to retreat within his own mind, and what he saw there she couldn’t begin to imagine. Whatever it was though, it was no happy memory. His expression didn’t change, but his hands started to tremble just slightly. “Solas? Are you alright? You look... unwell. Are you cold?” 

His lips quirked upward and he shook his head, breaking the spell that had descended upon him. “I am well, vhenan. Just some aftereffects of our fight with Hakkon’s spirit, I believe.”

Solas was a poor liar, she thought. Whatever bothered him, it wasn’t Hakkon. But knowing him, he would not share what troubled him with her until he was well and truly ready, if ever. He was, now as always, a very private man and there was much she still didn’t know about him.

She held up one corner of her blanket invitingly. “Can I interest you in sharing my blanket, then?”

Without waiting for his reply, she threw it over his shoulders and scooted over closer. She leaned against his side and let herself be comforted by his warm, solid presence.

_Take moments of happiness where you can. The world will take the rest._

Inquisitor Ameridan’s words haunted her. For more than a year now, she had put everyone’s needs before her own. The Inquisition had almost entirely swallowed up Ellana Lavellan, the dalish hunter she had been until the conclave. 

When was the last time she’d even thought of her own needs? Her own desires? She was careening toward a final confrontation with Corypheus which she might not live through. Every day brought her closer to what might well spell the end of her life. 

She didn’t want to die with regrets. 

She put her empty mug down beside her and took a deep breath. “Will you lay with me tonight, Solas?”

She stole a glance at him to gauge his reaction to her bold words. 

Solas sat frozen beside her, his eyes wide in shock. This was not the response she had hoped for, to say the least. She cringed away from him. “You don’t need to look so appalled. If my request is so unappealing to you, just say so. I won’t push.”

She bit her lower lip. Why had she thought that asking was a good idea? They’d been companions for months. Dancing around each other. Kissing. Sharing affection and words of love. But they had never gone any farther. Maybe it was a step too far for him. Maybe he didn’t feel the way she did about him.

And still he kept staring at her, and still said nothing.

She scrambled to her feet, cheeks now burning in shame. “Forget I said anything. I’m going back to my tent.” His silence was answer enough. She didn’t need the humiliation of waiting for his rejection.

He grabbed her wrist just as she turned away. “Ellana, wait.” 

Solas usually called her Inquisitor, my friend, or vhenan. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he’d used her first name.

“If you’re planning on apologizing, don’t. It’ll only make things worse,” she snapped, refusing to look at him. She didn’t need his pity on top of it all.

Instead of answering, he pulled on her arm. She stumbled backward and desperately tried to keep her balance, but the blanket wrapped around them both made it impossible. She landed in his lap and, before she could protest, he wrapped his arms around her.

She couldn’t flee anymore, unless she wanted to fight him off. But that was just it, wasn’t it? She didn’t want to fight him. With a sigh, she relaxed back into his embrace. 

“You misunderstand me.” Solas’ breath tickled the shell her her ear, and a shiver ran down her spine. “You took me by surprise. That’s all.”

She shifted in his arms so she could face him and search his unfathomable eyes. She couldn’t read his expression. What was he thinking? This uncertainty made her babble nervously. “I know it’s probably not the right time or place to ask. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t push you into anything you’re not ready for. That, after Corypheus is dead, there will be plenty of time to explore... whatever exists between us. But, after seeing what happened to Inquisitor Ameridan and Tellana, I--Well, there might not _be_ an after-Corypheus for us.”

“Ellana--”

She forged on in spite of his interruption. “I want to seize those moments of happiness while I still have the chance,” she explained. Pleaded for his understanding. She held her breath and waited for his answer.

“This is not a good idea,” he muttered after several long, heart-pounding moments. 

Despite his words, he didn’t let her go. His unwillingness to do so told her one thing. Bad idea or not, he didn’t want to stop anymore than she did. Relief flooded through her, leaving her light-headed. 

“On the contrary, I think it’s the best idea I’ve had all week,” she replied breathlessly, and kissed him.

Solas’s groan sounded like surrender. From where they rested on her shoulder and wrist, his hands moved up her neck and came to cradle the back of her head. Now that he held her in place, Solas started to devour her mouth like a man starved, pushing his tongue inside to dance with her own. She responded in kind, just as desperate as he was to taste him.

He hadn’t rejected her. He _wanted_ her. 

In the end, Ellana had to break away to gasp for breath. “Creators,” she gasped. For a man who always acted so calm and composed, Solas’ unleashed passion was a thing to behold.

“The Creators have nothing to do with this, vhenan.”

She chuckled, feeling more than a little giddy. “You’re right of course. Maybe I should invoke the Dread Wolf instead?”

He snorted at that. “Please, don’t.”

He nipped along her jaw and mouthed down the side of her neck. In the meantime, he got to work on her braid, his fingers only stilling once her hair fell free down her back.

Not to be outdone, Ellana grabbed his belt so she could untie the knot, and then threw it aside. She hummed in pleasure as she slipped her hands between tunic and velvety-soft skin. He felt so warm under her fingers.

So real.

_Please, let this moment last me for a lifetime..._

Solas slipped one arm under her knees, the other he wrapped around her back. His lips never leaving the crook of her neck, he then stood up with her cradled in his arms. Ellana squealed in surprise and laughter. She had not been expecting that from him. He held her like she weighed nothing more than a feather. 

“Have you been training with Bull?” she asked with a grin. She might be on the shorter side, but years spent traveling around Thedas--first as a dalish scout and now as Inquisitor--meant she possessed the lithe but strong body of a hunter. She was heavier than she looked.

Solas chuckled. “Even a lowly apostate like myself might want to stay in shape. I need to be able to keep up with you.”

“Ohhh... Now I _really_ can’t wait to see what you are hiding under your clothes.” She ran her fingers along his ribs and back. They brushed against lean muscles, muscles she wouldn’t have expected to find in a mage. But then, it did take some serious upper-body strength to wave around a staff the way he did.

“I hope I don’t disappoint, vhenan.”

“I don’t think there’s any way you could ever disappoint me, Solas.” She kissed him again. She couldn’t get enough of him. If this was to be her last weeks before she crossed over to the Beyond, she wanted to imprint the taste of his lips and the feel of his skin in her memories.

This time, Solas was the first to pull away, and he rested his forehead against hers while he caught his breath. “I hope you don’t come to regret those words,” he whispered, leaving her nonplussed as to what he meant.

“Come on now, you can’t be _that_ bad in bed,” she quipped back. She didn’t mean to make light of his worries, but she knew that if she let him continue down that path he would end up the evening brooding on his own instead of in bed with her.

“No one has ever complained about my skills before, vhenan.” Whatever troubled Solas dissipated just as quickly as it had descended on him. He was once again relaxed and playful, as though his earlier worry had never been.

Ellana’s heart constricted. She’d never seen him act so mercurial before. Something was eating at him, and she feared whatever it was. Perhaps she would ask him about it at some point. But... not tonight. She refused to let apprehension steal this moment from her.

With an effort of will, she turned her thoughts away from her concerns and back to the task at hand.

“Promises, promises,” she said, and smirked.

His answering grin was positively predatory, and it made her insides tighten in anticipation. “Time to take this inside, I believe” he said, and made their way back toward the tents.

“My tent?” she proposed. It offered some privacy, as she didn’t share it with anyone. Not that she minded what anyone thought of her, but they might otherwise sear the eyes of a few impressionable Inquisition soldiers.

Solas waited until the tent’s flap had fallen back behind them before he put her back down on her feet. Immediately, she grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him down so their lips could meet. Scorching kiss after lingering touch, they peeled off each other’s clothes like the inconvenience they’d become. Her gloves ended up hanging from the poles holding up the tent’s ceiling; his foot wrappings--after much cursing on her part--were thrown into a corner.

Finally naked, they fell into a heap on her cot, making it creak under their combined weight. His hands and mouth were everywhere, it seemed--on her breasts, on her hips, up her legs. She swallowed a gasp of pleasure when his fingers first reached the apex of her thighs, then slid inside. Through it all, he kept watching her, gauging her reactions and smiling smugly when he managed to draw a shudder from deep inside her.

“Solas,” she keened, grasping at his shoulders in such a way she’d probably leave red marks.

“Yes, vhenan?” How could he sound so calm when she was unravelling at the edges?

“That--that thing you just did...”

“Which one?” He kissed the tip of her nose and looked at her rather innocently. 

She frowned back at him. “That thing with your fingers. Do it again.”

“Ohhhh... _that_ thing.” He twisted his wrist and moved his thumb in such a way his fingers brushed against the center of her pleasure. 

She almost jumped right out of her skin, and barely had enough breath left to her lungs to say, “Yes, that one.”

Solas chuckled. “I’m happy to oblige then.”

Until then, Ellana had had no idea just how cruel Solas could be when he put his mind to it. For long minutes he slowly, systematically, brought her to a point where she thought she would shatter if only he would take pity on her and moved his hand a little faster. She was so very close she saw stars behind her closed eyelids.

But then, he slowed down long enough to drown her moans in languid, drugging kisses. He seemed to take pleasure in keeping her there, teetering on the edge between pleasure and desperation.

“Solas, please, have mercy,” she gasped when she next managed to speak.

He captured her lips again, and it was a good thing as he suddenly resumed his thrusting with a vengeance. Ellana screamed--or would have if not of Solas’ mouth silencing her quite effectively--and tensed up.

And then she was falling down that edge, shattering into a thousand shards of light. It felt like it lasted forever; a moment frozen in time. Afterward, there was nothing left of her but a quivering mess of a woman, struggling to gather back her scattered thoughts.

_Ohhh... but he was good._

She didn’t know that she’d ever felt anything like that climax before. For a bit, she’d have accused him of using forbidden magic on her. 

The thought sent her into a fit of--very satisfied--giggles.

“Something funny, vhenan?”

“Nothing, Solas. Nothing other than you are wonderful and I love you.”

Solas’ expression turned tender as he whispered back, “Ar lath ma, vhenan.”

He repositioned himself more fully over her, and Ellana felt the tip of his member press against her entrance. Hovering there, he paused to look down at her. Asking for her permission to proceed? If so, he wholeheartedly had it. She slung a leg over his hips to coax him closer. This change in position made him slide in slightly. 

Her moan and his groan echoed each other. 

Solas needed no further encouragement to continue. In one long, relentless push, he seated himself all the way inside her. He stopped only long enough for her to get used to this new feeling of fullness before he moved. He set a slow pace at first, and she reveled in running her fingers up and down his back to feel the play of muscles under skin with each of his thrusts.

She moved her hands to the back of his head when he bent down to take one of her nipples in his mouth. With whispered praise and caressing hands, she urged him on. He took his time. As implacable as he had brought her to orgasm the first time, he was now slow and gentle. 

Maybe she was not the only one wishing for this night to never end.

But even this could not last forever. Ellana felt Solas shudder. His thrusts lost their rhythm and he started to pant. She peppered his face--his closed eyelids, his high cheekbones, his luscious lips--with kisses, making little noises of encouragement as he came undone before her eyes.

Finally, she felt him stiffen over her, and he hid his face in the crook of her neck as he spent himself inside her. He muttered something at the peak of his release that sounded suspiciously like “ _Ir Abelas_ ”, but she must have heard him wrong as it made no sense for him to apologize to her at this point.

With a sigh, he collapsed on top of her, obviously spent. Ellana wrapped her arms around him and held him close, until he sighed and moved to lay beside her. No words were exchanged, but of a common accord they closed their eyes and fell into a deep sleep still entwined with each other.

*****

“Inquisitor, I’ve received--” Scout Harding froze with her hand holding the tent’s flap open. Her unfinished sentence hung in the air as Ellana blinked the sleep away from her eyes. 

She tried to gather her thoughts. Was it morning? Dawn had barely broken, if the light outside was any indication. She groaned. What time was it?

“Scout Harding?” she mumbled. Was the camp under attack? The camp better be under attack for the dwarf to barge into her tent at the ass-crack of dawn.

“I can come back later. I didn’t know--” The dwarf was blushing so badly her ears were threatening to catch fire.

Ellana yawned and glanced down at her companion. Solas still slept like the dead beside her, unheeding of the intrusion. The sight of his relaxed expression and the sound of his light snores made her smile. He looked so peaceful while asleep. Unburdened for once. She on the other hand was now quite awake. And irritated.

“It’s alright. Give me a moment to dress. It has to be urgent if you thought it necessary to wake me up at this hour.”

Harding nodded and let the flap fall back down in place. Ellana sighed. Back to being the Inquisitor, it would seem. Her reprieve had been much too short.

She decided to let Solas sleep in and tried to be as quiet as possible as she got dressed. But she shouldn’t have worried as he did not stir, not even when she ran her fingers down his cheek one last time before leaving the tent.

She stepped out with her hair still a mess, a visual reminder of her activities of the night before. She let it be for the time being. There would be time to brush and braid it later.

“Scout Harding, you have news for me?”

Harding turned around, a somewhat nervous expression on her face. She glanced behind Ellana, perhaps fearing that a half-naked Solas would exit the tent behind her. Ellana had to suppress the burble of laughter that threatened to escape her lips. _Don’t laugh. It’s not funny._

Harding cleared her throat. “Yes, Inquisitor. I just received sister Nightingale’s latest report. Corypheus’ forces have finally been located. They seem to be making their way toward the Arbor Wilds. Your advisors are awaiting your return at Skyhold to plan the next step.”

Ellana sobered up at once. “I see. Thank you, Scout Harding. We’ll leave as soon as the others are ready.”

Time to face the music.

**Author's Note:**

> Your comments are always welcome :)


End file.
